Thinking Shrader

More ramblings of a Brain I cannot control

2010-04-01T00:06:00.000-07:00

Every coach from high school to the pros has used this cliché at least once. Some have even put it up in their locker rooms so the players don’t forget it. “Control the Controllable’s.” That famous three word cliché, but why would they have to plaster it in huge impact font lettering on neon posters in the locker rooms or constantly remind their players throughout games about controlling only what they can control? Well maybe it’s because as humans we keep trying to control the things we have no business controling? Huh, us, try and control every single aspect of our lives from the toothpaste we use to how traffic should be at 830 am on a Monday? We all understand to a certain extent that we can’t always control everything but this phrase actually helped me cure my road rage…because I certainly can’t control any other car on the road except for mine so why get bent out of shape over what I can’t control. That is an easy application of this cliché though. Unfortunately as humans we have gotten accustom to controlling each other. Either through coercion or manipulation, or just plain strong arming that individual we are trying to control others even more as society. This is a lesson I am unfortunately learning the hard way. For years I had used manipulation to control people and make them do what I wanted to do. What a gross misuse of the influence God has given us over people. (God forgive me for not being a better steward of what you have given me) I am learning I am not in control of…well anything. God the master and creator of the universe, the one who set each star in its place, created something from nothing, the inventor of time and space and gravity and all the other elements our inferior eyes can’t see or understand. Yeah, I’m thinking he is in control and always has been and always will be. Even when I am in full control of what I can control like my car I’m not the best at controlling it…just look at my driving record! I have another cliché for you…pretty sure you heard this one in church or read it on a church sign before. Here it is, “Let Go and Let God” that’s right just let go and let God do all the controlling. He’s the one steering this boat anyway and since he made the ocean and wood and metal and everything on the boat I assume he’s a pretty good captain at getting HIS boat where HE wants it. No matter how many times I think I’m in control I have to remember to let my life go and let God’s nature work in my heart. It may be a cheesy cliché but if we practiced it we may find that is also practical. God is the only who can truly take control of our lives and when we let him control all aspects of our life, its when that you will draw so close to him you won’t even think of it as your life but His that your just barrowing for a little while to do His work.

Ramblings of a 100mph brain

2010-03-28T22:59:00.000-07:00

I’ve come a long way…but I’ve still got a LONG way to go. Where am I going? Only one person knows that right now, God. My entire life I’ve tried to do things on my own. Even when I was close to God I never truly wholeheartedly trusted in Him. In recent months I've made a couple of decisions I thought God would like…but never actually asked it they were His will. So I did them on my own…not so smart on my part. I want to truly trust God and what he has for me, but its hard for me to do that. Why? Well for one it’s my “Human Nature” to think I am smart enough to know what is best for me at all times. And secondly I've just done it for so long now it’s become habit. So over the last few months I've made decisions where I have to trust God…and it’s easier. I have less worry about my finances now because I know I am in Gods will by tithing! Also lately I've become very aware of my selfishness, but in trusting God the need for selfishness is lost. If God is in control of my life and I've put my “trust” in Him why do I still find myself committing selfish acts? He is watching out and supplying all my needs right but that selfish nature in me is saying “well just in case he doesn’t come through.” What a terrible way to think of our creator. He told us that he would supply our every need. What more could we…get ready for it…want?? Wants’. Not necessities but the little extra perks. oh, we may think we need them or have to have it. But we don’t NEED it! The only thing I want right now is also my greatest need…Gods presence in my life. I CANNOT survive without it. I can live without it and have for a long time but now I don’t want to think of a day when I can’t interact with my savior and creator! As a pastor of mine says “we have as much of God in our lives as we want.” What a powerful statement. It really makes me question daily “just how much God do want in my life?” Of course the easy answer is all of Him…but is that what our actions say? Are we spending time with Him, which has always been a struggle with me, or are we just saying we want all of Him expecting Him to just come to us at church. But it’s seeking Him on a minute by minute basis. 1 Thessalonians 5:16 says “Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. For this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus.” Pray continually means to always be open to Gods voice and be in a spirit of open communication with Him, not that we need to be on our knees hands clasped together but always be aware of His presence in the moment. When you realize His presence is always there and is just waiting on you to enter into it, it becomes a thousand times easier to trust Him. Here’s the catch we can’t just trust Him to do what WE WANT Him to, we need to trust Him to do what HE WANTS FOR US. That is battle I am fighting daily, not to trust Him that he will supply what I want but what HE wants for me. Even Christ battled with this in Matthew 26:39 says”…Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You do what you want.” Wow Jesus must have struggled with the same thing I am?! How incredible to have a God who has been in the same situations we have! I am so thankful for the work God is doing in me and please pray he continues the work in my life for His good and perfect plan.

Thanks

2009-02-17T07:48:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to let you all know that I am so appreciative of all your prayers and support over the last few months! Over the last week and a half God has really been doing some amazing things in my life. I was thinking last week about all that I have lined up for the rest of the year and what God is doing with me now and it was then that I really saw God moving the pieces of my life in place and while I know its going to take some time, for the first time in a while I can see Gods hand in every area of my life and I am truly humbled and amazed at the way God works, most of the time without us realizing! Again thanks for all the prayers and support and please keep them coming as I still have a LONG way to go on my journey!

Jason

Laying it down

2009-02-04T07:50:00.000-08:00

Wow I am blessed to be at a church that challanges me in worship! This last sunday we sang "We Fall Down". A great worship song that really challenges you to humble yourself and lay your pride down at Jesus feet. The most powerful point to me was when the song says..."We lay our crowns down at the feet of Jesus". Often time we get caught up laying our burdens down at the feet of Jesus. We always want to shed what weighs down our back and causes stress and strife in our life, but in our lives we must must lay our "Crowns" down. I just wanted to stop and look at the symbolism of that and look a what the crown means. Crowns are only worn by royalty, and often are adorned by jewels and diamonds, made only of the best materials. Look at that in your life, what is the jewel of your life? What is a point of pride that you wear around? It can anything you claim pride in, anything you may consider a trophy. It is not a bad thing to have a crown but it's better to take that crown and lay it down at Jesus' feet, that crown came from Him anyway and who better to give that crown, that point of pride and accomplishment, then to the King of Kings! We are all royalty in Gods eye's, all of us princes and princesses let us take our pride and what is best of our lives and lay it down as a sacrifice of gratitude to the One who made us royalty!

A new Definition!!

2009-01-26T10:17:00.000-08:00

Isn't God funny!! This last Sunday my pastor may have just sat me down and preached to me, or that is how it seemed. Every time my pastor spoke it was just for me! Sunday morning my pastor spoke on forgiveness and guilt and shame! This is something I have struggled with since returning to Christ! The guilt and shame I felt over my past was a large burden I had been letting Satan use to distort my view of myself. Don't get me wrong what I have done in the past is nothing to be proud of but when we repent, God forgets and views us in a whole new light! But we as humans sometimes hang on to the guilt or Satan continually reminds us and shames us over our past. This guilt and shame has burdened my for sometime now and stunted my growth because I let my sinful past define me when God has giving me a new a definition...Redeemed! What a relief we serve a God who not only forgets our past but removes the burden of shame guilt!

It's been awhile

2009-01-21T08:16:00.000-08:00

Hello all of you who are friends or just visiting. It has been just over a year since I last sat down and pondered or reflected in this manner. Man what a journey I have had since then! A redeployment, a trying process of exiting the active duty military, a move home, and joblessness(I think that's a word...and now that Bush is no longer president I'm not sure you can just make up words anymore). My walk with God has taken some turns and plateaus, some high points and low points but I know this, God is merciful and no words can express my gratitude for his grace! I am currently recovering from a month of absolutely horrible decision making in December, and just want to thank all of you who kept praying and believing in me!! Recently I have been reminded of just how special friends and family are, and the importance of making sure we keep them close! I have also been reminded recently of where God has brought me from and his unending grace and unconditional love! How amazing it is that while we were at our worst as humans God still has a longing to be with us! Please keep me in your prayers as I prepare to start a new and exciting chapter of my life in February as I begin my broadcasting career!!!

Thanks and Love!

Jason K.

He Doesn't owe me anything

2007-12-26T22:49:00.000-08:00

Today as I was just worshiping God and listening to the song "I am Yours" I told God that, that is my prayer for today and the rest of my life...that I am His! As I began to think about this the thought crossed my mind that a few years ago when would have made that statement I would have expected something in return. I think that today many people have that idea that if they give themselves to God that He is expected to do certain things for them in return almost like a trade. The more I thought of this the more repulsed I became by this thought. God does not owe us anything for our surrendering to Him. He gave his Son, Jesus Christ, over 2000 years ago who died on a cross for us. How arrogant have we as Christians become that we think God owes us a favor! I am sure if someone came and took your Son (who also happened to be the savior of all of mankind's souls) from you and then said "oh by the way you still owe me"...what would our response be! I would be offended and disgusted by the statement. God doesn't owe us a thing! if God never gave me one thing for the rest of my life i would still not be able to show Him the amount of gratitude for giving His only Son for my sins and saving me from an eternity of not feeling his presence!!

I am HAPPY=)

2007-12-22T20:42:00.000-08:00

So why am I happy with where I am in life? Great question! Many times in “War” or, whatever it is I am in, you have a lot of time to your thoughts. So I think of various things having to do with the future of my life. Thinking where I have been and where I am going. In such thinking my thoughts go do different things, marriage, career, even as far as retirement. In doing so I project myself in to those scenarios and I have found that right now I can’t even think of being married. I am celebrating my singleness!!! It is even hard for me right now to picture myself in marriage! I am taking this time to try and better myself so the when the right person that God sends to my path I will be ready to lead her in honest, open, relationship that is God ordained and led by Him! As far as career, I will enter college next fall and have NO IDEA what I want to do. I would love to be a ton of different things, all sound great and I love to do for the rest of my life! But there is a catch when I gave my life to back to God on the 31st of July 2007 I gave him total control, which means when He wants to let me know what He wants me to do he will let me know…at no point in my life have I ever been as comfortable with that idea than now. As far as retirement all I know is that I will be at tons of sporting events and playing LOTS of golf!! Where I am at in my life(not on earth) is exactly where I want to be right in my life I am growing daily in Christ and as a person…why shouldn’t be happy??

Thanks and love
Jason Kyle

Just to catch you up on me

2007-12-21T20:31:00.000-08:00

First I must say hello to all and thanks for reading. This is the first of many blogs that will let you into my life is I continue in Afghanistan and in my walk with God.

I must say this time in my life is an extremely odd one. I have been in Afghanistan for 12 months now and I must say most of my time spent here has felt futile. I am now trying to keep my life in line with the bible which I am finding quite difficult and very challenging. One thing I am still struggling with is cussing. It has been a few weeks since I let one slip but it seems every time I get a grip on my tongue, I find myself saying “Alright I haven’t cussed in two weeks I’m over it.” That is usually when I fall again! My own humanity is very frustrating! Just when God touches my life I, me, take a step backward. If it wasn’t for “ME” would grow so much faster in Christ! It is this thought that makes me realize how it important it is to crucify myself daily! Myself is an idiot, myself wants cuss, myself wants to pick up that bottle of Jack Daniels and drown myself in my alcoholism. Not in Christ!! IN CRHIST I AM AN OVERCOMER!! Will I cuss again…? I hope not, although I am human, but now I have repentance thru Christ!

Check back tomorrow and see where I am in my life and why I am happy!

Thanks for listening!

Jason Shrader